Dating in Luxembourg can be a pain in the ass as one of my clients told me during our last coaching session.

Julia had moved to Luxembourg, a small but charming country tucked away in the heart of Europe a few years ago. Of course, she was excited about meeting new people but dating in Luxembourg started to be a time sucker.

When I moved to Luxembourg over 20 years ago dating apps weren’t popular back then but with the social changes and hustle of life, I will definitely say that apps are the first-place for anyone to start to explore dating in Luxembourg.

These are a few of the most popular dating apps every single woman must have on the phone

OKCupid

Tinder

Bumbles

Hinge

Facebook dating

Julia has gone on a lot of dates but most of them only want one thing – sex – and this made her super frustrated, and disappointed that she couldn’t find someone who wanted something meaningful than just physical gratification.

Even worse, most of them were multilingual which meant that the conversations they often had lacked any real depth or connection as language barriers got in the way of her understanding what they were trying to say.

You might be thinking perhaps she is living in the wrong country quite the contrary, Luxembourg is really cosmopolitan, it´s full of people from different countries and cultures.

What I´ve learned from my experience with online dating is that putting yourself out there when you’re an emotional mess, does nothing but attract other people who are in similar emotional messiness, no matter how big a smile you put on your profile picture.

So the first thing to do to thrive in dating is to work on yourself, do the inner work and clear the way for the partner you want.

No.1/ Free Yourself of Old Heartbreaks

Free yourself from any lingering pain and recognize any familiar patterns that have emerged from your previous partnerships. Clear all the blocks that are making you attract undesirable men.

Also, recognize who is running the show of your dating life, is it the queen within you or your inner child?

What part of you feels undatable?

The best gift you can give yourself is self-awareness.

Get to the root of who you are, and try not to judge what comes up, but rather invite curiosity.

Negative patterns can include:

• Being critical of their personality
• Not fully expressing your true desires
• Trying to change and manipulate your partner
• Letting jealousy get in the way
• keeping scores
• Always have your guards up
• Ditching out the silent treatment
• Not paying attention during dates
• Always looking for external validation
• Insisting on doing everything together
• Dotting on their every needs
• Giving up on your own interests
• Constantly playing “Devil’s advocate”

Underneath all these negative patterns, is an inner child resorting back to tactics that had protected her when she was young… when she felt unlovable. You’re only undatable when you try to pretend that these shadow parts of yours don’t exist.

No.2/ Get Clear On What Your Desires Are

In an era where the old merges with the new, dating apps are still relevant, so I will not rule out online dating even if it has gotten a bad rap. I still believe that online dating apps are still the best place to get dates scheduled into your calendar no matter what.

So, to win in the Luxembourg dating world here are a few things you need to be clear on:

What core desired feelings do you want to feel when you are with the one?

e.g. love, connected, confident, attractive, generous, easy-going, ready, creative, warm, sensual, grounded, expressive, nourished, authentic, responsible, humorous, adventurous, enjoyable, kind, available

What qualities do you desire to see in a partner?

e.g. Commitment, Trust, Sexual compatibility, Accountability, Responsibility, Conflict management, Emotional intelligence, Financial Compatibility, Empowerment, Self-esteem, Compassion, Respect, Collaboration, Growth, Fun

What qualities do you want in your relationship?

I like to split these into two parts: the Need List and the Cherry-on-Top List.

“I want a sexually passionate relationship” or “I want to be able to travel in my relationship” can go on your Need List; but things like: “I want to have frequent five-hour pussy worship sessions in my relationship” can go on the Cherry-on-Top List.

NOW YOU ARE READY!

No.3/ Get Back With Dating

After working with hundreds of humans as a Dating Expert on finding true love in Luxembourg, here are a few of the favourite dating apps that have worked for my clients:

• eharmony: Best for meaningful lasting connections
• Bumble: Best for confident women
• Tinder: Best for quick and easy hookups
• OKCupid: Best free progressive dating site
• Hinge: Best for quick, serious matches
• The League: Best for educated singles
• Happn: Best for meeting someone in your social circle
• Silver Singles: Best for older daters
• Coffee Meets Bagel: Best for dating site newbies
• Ascend Hearts: Best for those seeking spiritually conscious people
• Seeking: Best for seeking wealth people
• Muzz: Best for single Muslims

I think Tinder’s reputation as a “hook-up app” is deeply embedded in American culture .

Dating apps is a numbers game, if you swipe left on 95% of matches, it means you have a better chance at attracting 5% better quality partners on a popular dating app, than on a lesser-known app.

By the way, going premuim makes a big difference in your user experience.

If you are serious about finding your life partner, you have got to put some skin in the game to increase my chances.

If any app offers a 3-month premium subscription, I’ll say jump on it.

so ff you want to increase your chances of finding someone, especially if you’re open to international dating, it makes so much sense to explore the largest dating pool.

Before I go any further, let’s talk about entitlement and expectations we subconsciously have on finding a date on dating apps.

The question is, are you willing to send the first message? Everyone who is on an app is looking for a connection of some sort. I get it, it could be strictly physical, but for most people what they really want is an emotional, spiritual, and mutual connection. 

That being said, I still love you going out and meeting cool humans.

So, dust of your heels and explore Luxembourg dating by strutting your stuff at these beautiful places.

If you feel a little be shy about going out alone, why don’t you ask a few of your friends to be your winger.

1. Afternoon tea in an exclusive hotel
2. Spa in 5 stars elegant hotel
3. Country clubs
4. Real estate solutions
5. The opening night of a major performance
6. Golf tournaments
7. Power breakfast or lunches
8. Charity fundraiser or ball
9. Yacht clubs
10. Horse races
11. High-performance car races
12. Frequent popular restaurants, not those that are always advertised on billboards or TV. Posh restaurants.
13. Private membership clubs
14. Fine afternoon tea shops
15. Happy hours at expensive hotels or clubs
16. Sporting tournaments
17. Prestigious art classes, with highly esteems local artist
18. Alcoholic anonymous, look for a chapter near to you
19. Polo clubs
20. Upscale expos + conventions
21. Opera, ballet, symphony, theatres. Buy performance arts season tickets
22. Go to auctions
23. Take a cruise, sailing
24. Attend live investment seminars
25. Go to purebred pet shows
26. Visit resorts
27. Volunteer for political parties
28. Upper-class social sport – flying balloons, skydiving, tennis, snow skiing
29. Be introduced
30. Upper-class gyms

Now that you have attracted a date, here are a lists of exciting things to do to know each other better. Trust me, dating in Luxembourg can really be fun.

My plans for first date experience always Include things like finding places that activates your 5-senses. What do you like to do?

Do you like to do traditional things (like meeting at a coffee shop or bar for a drink) or do you like trying new things (like going to an art gallery opening or walking through the city in a public place)? 

Always explore experiences that makes you shine.

Here are a lists of first-date ideas you can use to plan interesting dates:

Active first dates

• Take a walk together along the charming in Luxembourg City, Clausen district or Pfaffentha. You can also visit some nearby parks; you can even explore Main Street in town.
• Go skating! Whether it’s ice or roller, the possibilities are endless. Skate together hand in hand and let giggles ensue.
• Love tennis? Why not give pickleball a try? Pickleball is the perfect way to get your heart rate up, and the rules are so straightforward that anyone can master them quickly.
• Learning how to dance is nothing short of sexy! Why not attend a dance class? Sure, it may be easier and quicker to head out for a night in town – but honing your two left feet in an educational environment will show how you work together.
• Cycle your way to a picturesque picnic! Get outside and explore the neighbourhood on two wheels, just like you did as kids.
• Embrace an exhilarating game of paintball or laser tag! No longer are these activities reserved solely for pre-teens’ birthday parties; it’s now time for adults to join in on the fun.

Creative first dates

• Unleash your creative side and sign up for a paint-and-sip class! Even the most artistically challenged among us can create something beautiful in one of these unique gatherings. You can also visit the Expo Creativ Luxembourg for interesting activities and events
• Sing karaoke. Either you’ll impress your date with your singing talent or you’ll get to laugh together. It’s a blast, either way. You can use the application called “The Bar Corner” can help you find create bar for karaoke.
• Put your culinary skills to the test and treat your date to a cooking class! You’ll be surprised by how much fun you’ll have creating delicious dishes.
• Exploring an art gallery is the perfect way to fuel creativity and spark conversation! Surrounded by masterful works of art, you are sure to leave feeling inspired – and with plenty to talk about.
• Unleash your inner diva (or entertain each other with off-key tunes) at a karaoke bar. This is guaranteed to create an unforgettable night of fun and laughter!
• Schedule a cooking class! Not only will you sharpen your culinary skills, but you’ll also relish the meal that YOU created with your own hands – it’s an experience sure to bring joy and fulfilment.

Indoor first dates

• Hit up a museum – whether it’s about history, science, or the unusual collection of oddities you’ll find. Discuss and ponder what you have learned over coffee at a nearby café; exploring your newfound knowledge further with your date makes for an enjoyable and educational day!
• Immerse yourself in a riveting sports game! Even your local high school basketball match can be an electrifying event if you wholeheartedly participate. So, give it your all and experience the pleasure of being part of something truly special!
• Go wine or beer tasting. Local wineries, breweries and even distilleries usually have tours and tastings. Learn something new about your favourite tipple for a fun alternative to the typical drinks date.
• See a play or a concert. OK, this one does have a lot in common with dinner and a movie. But supporting an artist is super sexy, and you can learn a lot about somebody through the kinds of music they suggest.
• Visit an aquarium. Replenish your bank of cocktail party conversation starters with some fun fish facts.
• Take a trip to the bowling alley. Sure, those ugly shoes may not be your most stylish option for footwear, but there is no more creative way to show someone you are interested than by asking them for assistance on how to improve your technique. Isn’t that right?

High-intensity dates

• For brave souls, take your date to the depths of the sea by participating in a snorkeling class. Let yourselves enjoy and explore all that lies beneath as you swim along with each other’s company!
• For couples who are always up for a challenge, Tough Mudder is the perfect date idea! Conquer obstacle courses that combine running, climbing, balancing and jumping with unique challenges spaced throughout. You’ll be sure to have an adventure like no other you’ve ever had before. Plus, it’s the ideal way to bond athletically as a couple – what could be more fun?
• Make your summer date something special by taking them to a nearby lake for paddle boarding. Not only will you get an awesome view of the water, but it’s also a great way to sneakily work out all major muscle groups and improve balance!
• Replace your Tuesday takeout with an exciting and satisfying rock climbing trip instead! Rock climbing offers a unique experience when shared with someone special; one of you can be the climber while the other acts as a belayer. Don’t forget to switch roles now and then for some added fun!
• Cycling with a special someone is an incredibly enjoyable experience and excellent for your physical health. Take it to the streets, or take advantage of it as you transport yourselves to dinner or drinks!
• If you’re looking for a fun, active way to spend time with your special someone, why not go on a hike? Choose from an easy two-mile walk or something more challenging like one with more elevation gain. Hiking is better than spending all afternoon in a movie theatre!
• Salsa dance club. If you want to learn something new, get your body moving, and share intimate time with your partner, check out a salsa dance class! They’re often offered at bars, so you can reward yourself with a drink afterwards.

Cute first dates

• Have a picnic. There’s something so sweet about eating outside. Grab a blanket or just an old sheet and bring your favourite wine, cheese and crackers, cut-up fruit and vegetables or whatever else your little heart desires.
• Choose a special book for one another from the library shelves. Without being able to converse about each other’s selections, simply pick books that you think your companion would appreciate and then meet up afterwards over coffee to read them together.
• Visit a cat cafe. The two of you won’t be the only cute ones in attendance.
• Get ice cream or dessert. If it’s not ice cream season, try pie, cake, cookies — you get the idea.
• Go stargazing. Yes, there’s an app for that. A cosy blanket, hot beverages and cuddling highly recommended.
• Play a board game. Drag out your old favourites or head to a gaming cafe to test drive some new ones. Loser has to buy dinner or drinks afterward.
• Pretend to be tourists. Every city or town has something only the tourists do, even if it’s just a walk down the main drag. Do that, and fall in love with your hometown (and hopefully your date, too!)

Long-distance appropriate dates

• Spice up your first video date with the classic game of “Never Have I Ever”. This age-old drinking game is sure to help you keep the conversation going and make it more interesting!
• Step into a realm of nostalgia. Unlock your camera roll, scroll back in time and reveal stories from the past life you lived before meeting one another. It’s guaranteed to bring you closer together!
• Try a new-to-you cuisine. This one works especially well if you’re far apart: Order a type of food you’ve never had before and give it a shot together.
• Re-experience the magic of your childhood! Even though dinner and a movie are off the table, watch a film from when you were younger. Popcorn? Of course – it’s mandatory!
• Hold a chocolate tasting. Grab a few bars of different flavours or varieties and test out whether chocolate is an aphrodisiac.
• Put your thumbs to the test and fire up a video game. If you’re usually not into gaming, even better! Sharing the same level of skills – or lack thereof – will make it infinitely more enjoyable.

There is no one-size-fits-all in dating, so there’s no way for me to teach you on every potential outcome you might experience.

So, trust yourself and everything you’ve learned to help you decide how you want to handle your dating experience.

No.4/ Ditch The Dating Rules

We’ve all grown up with some outdated dating rules that hasn’t served us. I have a long lists of mine that can inspire a whole memoir of my dating life however, these are the most persistent ones that kept me single for a long time.

Rule 1: Don’t Talk to a Man First

Rule 2: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

Rule 3: Don’t Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls

Rule 4: Let Him Take the Lead

Rule 5: Don’t Open Up Too Fast

Even though you are advice to drop the dating rules… create dating codes instead

1. What are my three dating core values? 
2. What empowered part of myself will I choose to date from? 
3. What are some of the red flags that I look out for? 
4. What is my plan for handling red flags?
5. What are some yellow flags that I look out for? 
6. What is my plan for handling yellow flags? 
7. What is your plan for handling sex?
8. What are your expectations for going exclusive with a partner?
9. How do you end things when it’s not working? 

Instead of getting stuck in a negative pattern of dating emotionally reticent men, while pushing away men who are ready for a relationship then you need to shift from figuring out if your date is a good romantic match on the basis of his looks, profession, and hobbies (as do most people), to a new system of assessment, one in which you focus on your date’s level of consciousness, or, put otherwise, his level of self-awareness.

So what exactly do I mean when I talk about consciousness?

It’s about figuring out if your potential partner is emotionally mature, what his perspective are on life, if he has a positive or negative mindset, how mindful is he, and how does he handle obstacles—romantic and otherwise.

No.5/ Assess Your Date in 30 Mins

Ask meaningful questions

Instead of shooting off irrelevant questions such as how many siblings your date has, or what kind of music he enjoys, let’s instead focus on the ones that will truly get to the heart of his level self-awareness.

These are the kinds of inquiries we should be asking our potential partner:

>> What’s most important to you in life? (For example: time, money, family, or love.)

>> What are you most excited about in your life right now?

>> What have your past relationships been like? How long have they lasted? How did they end? (Pay attention to whether he has already put any previous conflicts or drama with his ex behind him, or if he is still carrying resentment and blaming all of the issues on her. It’s essential that you observe how he speaks about his former partner- kindly and respectfully – since that will be indicative of how future partners may also be treated by him..)

>> If you had to come up with a life motto, a phrase that you live by; what would it be? (This is my favorite first date question. It’s very telling of a person’s approach to life.)

>> What are you looking for? In love, in dating, or in a career?

Drop in and pay close attention

Most people talk too much on dates.

Eager to make a good impression, that in the process of moving through the date they miss vital clues that shows their date truly is: e.g their ideals, objectives, and whether or not actual they align with the core desires. So drop and attune to what is happening during the date.

Don’t ignore the obvious

Some people may appear attractive and appealing on a first date, perhaps you might be fooled by their good looks or the sound of their captivating professions such as being a doctor or banker.

But at the end of it all, we need to remember that even though they are outwardly pleasing, they still might not be compatible with you in terms of having a lasting relationships. So pay attention to:

>> Physical contact. (Does he make you feel uneasy by rubbing your thigh on the first date, or is he too timid to even initiate any physical contact?)

>> Body language. (Is he conveying disinterest with crossed arms and avoiding eye contact? Or is his body language demonstrating an eagerness to get closer, as evidenced by a straight posture and forward lean? Is he exhibiting signs of openness in the way his chest faces you?)

>> How he interacts with others. (Does he offer to open the door? Does he show his gratitude with a generous tip for the waitress? Is ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at the forefront of every interaction with their waiter?)

>> How you or your body responds to them. (Do you feel yourself relax when you are with him? Or is there an uncomfortable tension when he’s around that makes it hard to be present?)

No.6/ Reflect or Journal on Your Date

While it might be tempting to rush and share both your positive or negative experiences with a friend, try taking some time to reflect on the experience by yourself first.

During your date, focus on the sensations you were feeling at the body level; observe any thoughts that entered your mind, noticed what emotions bubbled up. Take time to journal on these reflections. Consider questions like:

• How much did I enjoy our time?
• On the date, what went through my mind—was I stressed? In a rush? Confused, serene or uneasy?
• How did I feel in the moment? Was I invigorated, relaxed, centered, receptive, anxious or bored?
• Was there an atmosphere of fun and lightheartedness, or was it more serious? Did the energy feel high-spirited or low-key?
• How did I feel during the conversation—was it superficial, tense, stiff, natural and engaging? Did the topics that came up help me know him better?
• Did I like myself more with him?
• What patterns did I notice in myself?
• How is my body feeling now that the date has concluded?
• How did he respond to my preferences or boundaries?

No.7/ Make a Dating Plan

Have a Luxembourg dating plan for these 3 stages of dating, don’t move on without having clarity on what you want to do when you reach these dating stages.

Phase 1: For the first date

Set yourself up for success on your first date by planning ahead. Have a strategy in place to handle bad dates and an exit plan should the evening not go as expected.

To start, opt for drinks over dinner to give you time with your prospective partner before making any commitments – 30 minutes is enough to gain insight into how well-suited you are! Don’t feel obligated or pressured to stay if the conversation isn’t flowing; otherwise, it will be easy to grow disheartened about dating altogether.

Think deeply about the types of inquiries your client should pose on initial dates. Sure, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask basic questions such as what they do for a living and how many siblings they have; however, don’t be afraid to delve a little deeper too.

Consider asking them what makes their career enjoyable or their favourite thing about being part of their family – these conversations can often lead you down unexpected paths!

What do you need to know to feel like the first date is working

Phase 2: Date 2 – 5

What would you like to explore with your partner? Be aware of how it resonates with you. How do you want your partner to act, and what will make you know when to go into an exclusive relationship or end it?

Particularly if you are prone to toxic, damaging relationships, hold off on sex until your judgment is clear.

Sex can blur our vision and make it difficult for us to spot any red flags in a partner’s behaviour. On the other hand, if you have reservations about intimacy with someone new, go ahead and explore that connection – it may just provide some clarity!

Phase 3: Early-stages of relationship

What relationship patterns are showing up for you?

What vibes make you know you are ready to go deeper?

What patterns let you know you should put a stop to this relationship?

No.8/ When You Know You’ve Found “The One”

You have even more self-love than ever before, because it´s feels so grounded and aligned. It’s amazing to see yourself through the lens of someone who has fallen in love with you.

You feel safe, seen, and supported in your personal and professional life. You also find yourself expanding as a human because you’re connection inspires so much more of you.

To explore your connection deeper, check out the app “Paired”. They sends you and your partner daily questions that you answer privately, when both answers are registered, you get to compare what you both answered.

It’s a great way to build on a new connection or refresh a current one. I only recommend it for someone you’re dating who’s made their intention clear that they are looking for commitment or long-term partnership.

It’s a great way to build on a new connection or refresh a current one. I only recommend it for someone you’re dating who’s made their intention clear that they are looking for commitment or long-term partnership

No.9/ Know Your Worth.

Dating in Luxembourg might suck but there is one thing I hope to inspire inside inside of your when it comes to you dating: know your value.

You’ve probably heard this said a million other ways, but quite frankly, I’m not sure we’re getting it.

We are hard-core junkies for external validation, then we use these that external validations to convince ourselves that perhaps we are not worthy of true love. This is exactly backwards – no more excuses for rejecting your needs!

You Matter!

One of my passions is co-creating a container that inspires you to attract true love. If you are interesting in exploring working together you can Email me. Or you can hop on a free 15-minute Discovery Call.

If you’re looking to heal heart break, sexual trauma, social anxiety and thrive in your sex life, click here to Book a Free Consults Now

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