Do you want to start dating again? Dating can be challenging, especially for those of us in our forties who may not have done it for a while. It can be nerve-racking to get back out there and explore the modern ways of dating.
But with today’s modern dating landscape and technology, dating in your 40s doesn’t have to be so intimidating or overwhelming.
Drawing on my experiences as a forty-something woman navigating this often exciting, sometimes confusing waters of the contemporary dating scene, I’m here to share my tips and insight on how you too can date from a play of confidence.
Whether you’re ready to turn your head towards new relationships or just dabble your toes in the pool of possibilities – here are some insights to help you get back into the world.
Take Some Time To Reflect On What You Desire To Feel In A Relationship
What do you desire to feel when it comes to embarking on a pleasurable relationship? Your feelings should be your leading compass. Reflect on what you desire to feel, experience and explore as your journey through this new phase of life.
Think:
- What values do I cherish the most?
- What type of lover or lover do you want to share your life with?
- Without the story, who will you apologetically explore as an erotic being?
- Are any compromises necessary going to be worth it in the end or cause more disruption?
Get back into journaling… anchor even more into what lights you up. Write as if you are already in that loving relationship.
- Who will you be?
- What will you do?
- How will you move through life as an empowered lover?
This kind of forethought can bring clarity and purpose to potential partnerships.
List The Core Qualities You Are Looking For In A Lover
One thing I always recommend to my clients before going on a dating spray is to journal on the core qualities they are looking for in a lover.
What values will turn you on?
Here are a few of mine: emotional intelligence, Fun, Intimacy
Perhaps you prefer Intelligence, integrity, and ambition dominate, trust, kindness and humour, sexual compatibility, commitment, authenticity, financial intelligence, responsibility, respect, and generosity. You can read more on this in y article “20 core qualities to find in a lover”
Affection? Oceans of it!
These are the qualities you’ll zoom into when you are on a date with your lovers.
Join an Online Dating Site Or App That Fits Your Interests And Lifestyle
One of the fastest ways to get humans scheduled into your calendar is to join online dating apps.
A few that I love are
If you’re looking for someone special and ready to take that first step, then I highly recommend joining an online dating site or app. It can help you find potential matches who share your interests and lifestyle when you start dating again.
There are so many options available nowadays, from traditional services to a whole host of new apps on the market, making it easier than ever to meet someone. So why not unleash your inner romantic self and make the choice that is right for you? Don’t be shy; all the cool kids are doing it these days!
Don’t Be Afraid To Go On Dates, Even If They Don’t Seem Super Hot At First Glance
There is an old axiom and well said, that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder“ but don’t let that stop you from going on loads of dates. You will never know someone until you dine with them.
It isn’t always true, but the magic can start with the very first date. And if they don’t appear perfect to your eye initially, give them a chance—you may find something wonderful beneath the surface.
So keep your mind open and go on those dates! This could be the start of an amazing adventure; think of it as taking little risks that could pay off. Your only regret will be not trusting yourself enough to make decisions and take a chance with dating. Also, let these lovers treat you. You deserve it
Unapologetically Take On Quantum Dating
As a woman in her forties, it can be incredibly liberating to explore the possibility of dating multiple lovers as you start dating again.
There are many reasons why I think this could be extremely beneficial: It can help us to solidify what we want in a partner and strive for our version of romantic success. It allows us to prioritize our own needs and desires so that we can feel secure attempting loving relationships without feeling the pressure of one thing needing to fit ‘everything’ ahead of time.
Additionally, quantum dating provides us opportunities to gain clarity about powerful aspects such as embodying emotional intelligence.
We can experiment with connecting on different levels and discover which style is best for your well-being. Ultimately, it’s about understanding ourselves first and exercising our freedom within committed relationships at the same time.
Also with quantum dating all your lovers are treated the same until you decide to go exclusive. Dating in your 40s can be the best time to own your desires.
Be Open And Honest With The People You Meet Online – Let Them Know What You’re Looking For
Be upfront about what you desire to experience with the person you are meeting online. If you are looking for marriage, make that known; if you just want sex, let them know. Don’t go into online dating blindly, as it can be a time-suck sometimes.
Let your intentions be known so that everyone can be clear on expectations and boundaries up front. Let them know right away what you are looking for in this online connection or conversation.
Communicating authentically reduces the chances of anything being lost in translation down the line. Being candid about your feelings, motivations, and drives will make these digital dating meaningful and rewarding.
Talk To Your Love Coach About Your Dating Goals And Get Their Feedback
I am a Dating and Love Coach, so you can always reach out to me.
A Love Coach could be just the thing you need to find success! Have a chat with them about your dating goals and open yourself up to get some honest feedback and coaching. In my coaching program “The Last Date,” I teach you how to attract your man so that they can experience lasting intimacy. I’ll teach you step by step how to date from a place of confidence; you will also have access to live coaching with me and my team.
A love coach can bring an informed, embodied, and professional perspective that can help fine-tune those subtleties and provide the insight you need to attract your man. I can also help you set the right dating goals, as you start dating again and provide valuable feedback.
Have Fun And Be Yourself! Dating Should Be Enjoyable, Not Stressful.
Dating should be a joy, and never a trial! Let yourself have some fun with it. Allow yourself to be genuine and take pleasure in each moment as it comes.
You don’t need to worry about meeting someone else’s expectations. Blanket yourself in ease, and appeal to your innermost self while celebrating the process that is meeting people.
Put your courage into action and be true to yourself; no one can recreate who you fundamentally are. So just be comfortable and natural, showing off every side of you graciously and unapologetically. Enjoy to the fullest!
Dating should never cause distress or apprehension, but lots of delight instead.
Be Your Own Best Lover as You Start Dating Again
A regular pleasure practice can activate natural sensuality and playfulness, which is a benefit, especially for women who are stressed-out, work hard or have many responsibilities such as career-driven women or single mothers.
If what you do every day does not reflect the type of person you desire to attract as a partner, having a pleasure practice can put you in the right mindset while you start dating. You can be more alluring, magnetic, fun and playful.
Dating is more enjoyable when everyone is having fun – much better than dating out of lack or stress.
Conclusion
In your forties, you are primed for so much more when it comes to start dating. So don’t stop seeking after the things that bring you joy.
Reflect on what you want in a relationship as you start dating and talk with your love coach about dating strategies that work for you.
No matter which route you decide is best for you, remember that dating should always be enjoyable – don’t forget to take some time out to go on a date by yourself as well.
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